There’s Beauty in the Breakdown

I haven’t been working much lately. January is usually a quiet month for senior portraits around here (at least, in my experience it is), so I spend a lot of time reflecting and planning. I get to play with different camera and/or lighting techniques. And sometimes I spend too much time obsessing about my own issues. Obsessing is a strong word, but it drives home the point of how serious my anxiety can be. 

I’m turning 40 this year. That’s not too old, I know, but it’s not something I’m looking forward too. I’ve been looking at my wrinkled skin and greying hair and that mommy tummy that just WON’T go away. I saw only the flaws. Then I thought about perspective. 

My wrinkles are lines of expression: all the laughter, pain, and bittersweet moments I have felt carved those lines into my skin. 

My grey hairs are silver badges of making it through another day of living a high-stress and high-anxiety life. 

My mommy’s tummy is a symbol of the strength I had to carry two babies, the struggle I had to even GET those babies, and the care I have put into keeping those babies thriving.

I just needed to frame them in a different way. To look through a different set of goggles to see them for what they really are: marks of a lady that’s been well-loved. 

This image I took when playing with my macro lens. This leaf is decaying. Insects and time are taking their toll. But it’s still beautiful, even as it breaks down.

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